Anthend : Chap4
"Hey Ginny!' Colin called out gaily from where he was in the corner with Hannah. He grinned chummily at her. "Where've you been?"
"Places." Ginny mumbled, moving over. "What are you two doing?"
Colin gave her a wicked look, which Ginny took to interpret as - Well, Hannah's looking at her parchment, so I'm looking at her cleavage. Hannah was wearing her night clothes, and looked both sleepy and sensual, always a potent combination. Ginny admired her easy air of seductiveness, confidence in her own sex appeal. Ginny admired a lot of things about Hannah. Paradoxically, she also resented Hannah for those very same things. Or maybe not so paradoxically.
"I'm going up to bed." Ginny mumbled again, running a tired hand through her equally tired curls. They were limp and fagged out, much like her. "I'm tired."
"All right." Colin said cheerfully. Ginny didn't mistake the lack of disappointment in Colin's voice. She forgave him. He lusted after Hannah, and that was always a justifying factor, especially in sixteen-year old boys who held book bags in front of their waists.
Hannah looked up and took her in. Ginny knew that Hannah rarely missed anything, and she didn't miss anything now, her sharp eyes taking in the untidy red mop, the over-red lips. Luckily - and Ginny was grateful - Hannah also knew when to hold her tongue, and recognized that this was one of those times. Ginny left them and went upstairs to her dorm.
It was not empty, and Ginny was glad. She disliked being alone, especially recently. There were too many things around when you were alone, and she didn't care that that was an illogical thought.
Logic couldn't explain many things.
Like why she'd spent a full five minutes making out with Draco Malfoy, until he'd shoved her away from him and she had jerked backwards. He'd left without a backward glance, without a word, which Ginny thought was pretty rude, since he'd been the recipient of her first kiss.
Or maybe thief was a better word . . .
Ginny let herself fall onto her bed, almost groaning with satisfaction at the exquisite pain that came with relaxing tense limbs. She stared up at the ceiling, at the wind chimes that she'd hung over her bed. It annoyed her dormy mates, unreasonably so, but Ginny had pointed out that they were no worse than the glow-in-the-dark Gilderoy Lockhart poster and the monstrosity of an urn Peggy and Laney had. They'd shut up - or at least stopped threatening to shove the noisy chimes down her throat.
The chimes tinkled lightly above her, from the slight breeze that came in the half-open window. Peggy swore that night air was the best kind of air, never mind that she always slept through it and therefore wouldn't know. For the sake of peace, Laney had assented, and Ginny, who had no opinion, had, likewise, raised no objections.
Ginny closed her eyes and tried to focus on the unreal blackness in her eyes.
It worked for a while, then she was asleep and dreaming of a boy whose hair was anything but black . . .
_____
"Hey Harry." Cho called out cheerfully as Harry walked onto the Quidditch field.
Harry glanced up and waved at her, a half-smile on his face, never mind the fact that he had been completely exhausted the minute before. He'd stayed up the whole night, for reasons he didn't want to think about, and had been subjected to two hours of Hell i.e Double Potions first thing in the morning. Then had come a harrowing hour with Hagrid, who had shipped in a few creatures that Harry suspected that dragon roots in their ancestry. Fairly recent ancestry. He'd almost fallen asleep at lunch - would have, in fact, if not for a black-haired girl laughing with Justin at the Hufflepuff table. Harry didn't have anything against Justin, he really didn't.
Not when he wasn't flirting - successfully - with his -
Harry resolutely stopped that train of thought. He didn't glance up at Cho again.
When Quidditch practice was over, Harry collapsed on the bleachers, utterly drained of energy. Dean, the new Keeper, flashed a grin down at him and walked on. A few of his teammates gathered around him. From their expressions, Harry surmised that they were as tired as he. He'd almost forgotten about Cho's presence in the bleachers.
Almost.
She came skipping lightly down to him, never losing the grace that came with being confident and mature. Harry almost resented her for looking so fresh, and at the same time admired her air. He admired many things about her.
That was his problem.
"Good practice." Cho told him, brushing a straight lock of hair out of her eyes. "I've never seen the Gryffindor team look so good."
"Gonna report straight to the Hufflepuffs, huh?" Harry grunted teasingly.
Cho's eyes twinkled, and Harry couldn't stop from staring. She had pretty eyes, large and dark, and he liked them. "Straight away." She replied dryly, and Harry couldn't tell if she was joking. She intrigued him.
They sat in silence for a while, and one by one the other members of the Quidditch team drifted into the locker room. Harry remained. He wanted to be alone with Cho, and knew that his teammates knew it too. His crush on her had never been a secret.
"How are you finding being back at Hogwarts?" Harry asked idly, taking off his glasses to wipe the sweat off them.
"Good. Different." Cho smiled. "I'm not a student anymore, so it's different. Very much so."
"Your study going well?"
"Excellently." Cho said, and Harry got the feeling she didn't want to talk about it.
He let it go, he understood secrets. He wasn't offended - not many things offended him. Not when Cho was involved. He got up and offered a hand.
She pulled on his hand. Harry looked down at her - he wasn't tall, but she was short - into the dark eyes he liked so much. The words came out of his mouth, he didn't know who put them there. It certainly wasn't him. "Doing anything tonight?"
Cho grinned, a wicked grin, full of seductive promises and soft kisses. "I'm looking at the stars with you, Harry."
_____
Ginny tromped down the hall gaily, only half-listening to Colin. He was telling her and Hannah about a piece of gossip he'd heard from Pansy Parkinson. Ginny would have asked him what he was doing talking to Pansy Parkinson, if she hadn't thought that he was throwing in her name to make Hannah jealous. Pansy was prettier now, if not exactly pretty, and she was older, too, always something that made sixteen-year old males pant.
Ginny could have told him that Hannah couldn't have cared less. The blonde was too aware of her own sex appeal to feel intimidated by another's.
Ginny was in a good mood. She had half-managed to forget her . . . indiscretion with Malfoy, and was concentrating on better things. Like Harry Potter. In her current mood, she was convinced that Harry couldn't possibly like Cho again. It just wasn't fair, not to her. She wasn't concerned about Cho. Anyone who had a wealth of dark hair and sexy dark eyes didn't need fairness.
She saw that Hannah was putting up a good pretence of listening to Colin. Ginny allowed her own thoughts to wander.
They passed Malfoy in the hall. Ginny awkwardly pretended to be looking down, her heart beating faster, nervously. She needn't have bothered. Malfoy had his usual bored air about him, and didn't give them a passing glance. Not that she cared.
Really.
They walked into the Gryffindor wing, Colin still prattling on about some Hufflepuff being found in bed with a Ravenclaw. Those Ravenclaw girls, Ginny thought . . .
She didn't finish her thought.
She didn't need to.
It was being played out before her.
In front of the Fat Lady, who was knitting placidly, Harry stood, sweaty and sexy from Quidditch practice.
In front of the Fat Lady, who was knitting placidly, Cho stood, cool and sexy, from being Cho Chang.
It was only natural that they should be standing together.
Kissing.
Ginny clenched her fists around her robe, until her knuckles turned white and her palms an angry, hurting red.
But she wasn't angry.
Colin and Hannah caught sight of the two figures who were doing an excellent imitation of being statues.
Lips glued to each other.
Hands plastered to each other's hips.
His sweat becoming hers.
Ginny thought she caught a glimpse of tongue and was nearly sick.
Colin shut up and glanced quickly and worriedly at her.
Ginny's lips were tight and tense, her heart still in her chest.
She had to keep it still.
Hannah broke the tension the couple was unaware of by saying quickly to the Fat Lady, "Potions is for losers."
The portrait swung open, dislodging the couple, who were shoved out of the way. They broke apart - no, that was too harsh a word. They melted apart, their faces soft and flushed from their strenuous activity.
Hannah climbed in and beckoned to Ginny.
Ginny moved forward numbly, not looking at Harry.
Colin went in after her. As the portrait swung open, Ginny caught a glimpse of Harry's face. He knew she liked him, and she knew he knew.
Ginny turned away.
_____
"Dammit." Harry swore, running a hand through his hair.
Cho raised an eyebrow. "What's wrong?"
Harry didn't play with words. Events had taught him to be honest - well, except to Snape and anyone who was trying to kill him - and the lesson was deeply ingrained in him, so much so that he didn't hesitate to tell her the truth. "Ginny has a crush on me."
Cho smiled. "Oh."
Harry couldn't help grinning sheepishly at her knowing look, then wiped the grin off his face, knowing it was disrespectful to Ginny. "Yes, oh. Look, I'd better go straighten this out."
"Why?' Cho asked, raising her eyebrow again. It looked unbelievably sexy. Harry wanted to grab her and kiss her again, but restrained himself. "It's not like you two are together. You have every right to be kissing - " she leaned closer, her words husky and breathy. "- me."
"I know." Harry put his hands together, rubbing nervously. "But she's my best friend's sister, and I like her. No, not in that way. She's like my sister, and I don't want to hurt her."
"All right." Cho said agreeably. She grinned at him again. "But don't forget our date later."
"Never." Harry said, half-jokingly.
But only half.
Cho waved as she walked off down the hall, and Harry allowed himself a moment to admire the sway of her hips, before stepping into the Gryffindor common room.
He cast a glance around for Ginny. He didn't expect her to be there, and she wasn't. Her two friends were subduedly playing cards in the corner, their movements quiet. They were acting like someone had died. Harry resented that.
He moved up to the dorms, finding Ginny's easily. The door was slightly ajar, and Harry paused, half-expecting to hear sobs. He was relieved to hear nothing, and went in quietly, knocking softly on the door.
Ginny was sitting at her desk, looking down at her hands. She was bent over the table, her posture one that spoke of unbearable weariness. She didn't look up when he entered, feeling awkward.
"Funny-face." He said.
Ginny flinched slightly. "Please don't call me that." She said politely, as if she was speaking to a stranger. A chill ran down Harry's spine. He went to her slowly, as if she would flee if he made any sudden movements.
"Why not?" he asked, knowing perfectly well why not.
Ginny didn't look at him. "You know why not."
Harry went over to her, taking her hands, wanting her to look at him. She avoided his eyes, tugging uselessly at her hands. "Look at me, Ginny."
She didn't.
"I know you have a crush on me." Harry said, stating a fact they both knew. "I know you've liked me for a while."
"Yes." Ginny said, her voice quiet. "I have."
"So it must have come as kind of a shock to see me with Cho." He took a breath. "Especially as you did. I'm sorry that you had to see it. It was stupid of me to do - that - in front of the common room. It was stupid and insensitive of me, and I'm sorry."
He went on, struggling, knowing he had to say the next words, and wishing he didn't. "But I'm not sorry I kissed her."
"I know." Ginny whispered, closing her eyes briefly.
"I'm sorry if I hurt you." Harry said, meaning it, wishing he never had, and knowing that he had. "You're like my little sister, Ginny - you are my little sister, to me."
You're not my brother.
"I love you, Ginny." He whispered, still holding her hands gently. "And if it's not in the way you want me to, I'm sorry. But it's just a crush, and you'll get over it." He knelt by her, and tried to look up into her eyes. "And when you do, you'll see that it's best this way." He smiled. "Can you imagine what Ron would say if I told him I liked you?"
"I can imagine many things."
Harry stood, and when he did, Ginny finally looked at him. Her eyes were dark and shuttered, but Harry was glad to see that there were no tears. He didn't allow himself to think that the quiet, empty expression in them was worse than any tears would have been.
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