Chapter 11
The remainder of the day dragged along for Ginny. She hadn't seen Draco all day. That was all right, though. She was going to see him tonight. Not at dinner. Astrology class started at the same time as dinner, so those in class would grab sandwiches set out in the Great Hall for that purpose. Afterward, though, she would see him.
As she headed up to Gryffindor tower, she planned what she would wear. She had one blouse in mind. She'd never worn it before, except when she had tried it on. It was an emerald green silk blouse with a deep 'V' neck. The colour made her skin glow instead of look sallow. She would wear a black pleated skirt with it and the stockings and flats and, of course, the new robe. She was getting to like the new clothes and her new look. Especially since it seemed look Draco liked it, too.
Ginny worked on her homework for a while, then went up to her room to change. She briefly considered make-up and cologne, but decided that would be a little too obvious. She changed, grabbed her Astronomy book and joined her fellow fifth years as they headed down to the Great Hall for sandwiches.
In the Astronomy tower, the professor droned on about novas, nebulas (or were they nebuli?) and constellations. He pointed out some of the more important and astronomically significant stars and droned on some more. Ginny felt her eyelids growing heavy. She always found it difficult to stay awake in this class because it was dark and the professor's monotone voice was lulling. She woke up as the professor slammed his book shut and assigned homework. She wrote the assignment quickly and filed downstairs with the others. She told one of her roommates that she was going to the library to catch up on homework and headed the opposite direction. She rounded the final corner and saw Draco standing outside the library, his back to her.
Malfoy had been restless. After leaving Ginny the night before he had gone to the Astronomy tower. He looked around and mentally planned the evening ahead. He would show her his favorite constellations. He might tell a few of the stories and myths surrounding the star patterns that his grandfather had taught him. Of course the summer patterns were a little different than what they would see now. And they were much farther north than Noirtier House, located in the south of England. No matter. She would probably enjoy the stories anyway. He would make sure to bring a few blanket up and hide them in the closet along the corridor from the tower entrance. And maybe a small picnic basket. And then he would hold her. And finally he would kiss her. No yelling, no hitting or kicking. No healers or Bludgers, no interuptions. Just him and her.
He didn't let his imagination go any farther. He was already in a state of nervous agitation and those thoughts would make him more uncomfortable and jittery than he already was. Gods, someone would think this was the first time he'd ever kissed a girl! Uncomfortable as he was, though, he was ridiculously happy. So much so that speaking to her irritating brother had been a mere inconvenience this morning. And wonder of wonders, the jerk hadn't offered to knock him into next week, as he had on several occasions before. He had barely even glared. He had only nodded at Malfoy's wishing Ginny well. He might have mumbled something when Malfoy walked away, but that was nothing to the reception he usually got from Weasley. Malfoy shook his head at how strange the world was. One thing was certain. If Ron didn't object to him seeing Ginny, no one else in the family would. As much as it galled him, he vowed to keep on Ron's good side. If the git had a good side, that is.
Malfoy had to admit that he felt lonely and depressed when he didn's see Ginny by lunchtime. He'd arrived late to the Great Hall and she wasn't there. He'd be seeing her in a few hours, but as she had said so wistfully, it seemed so far away.
Malfoy wandered to the library after he had eaten on the off chance that she might be there. He looked in and didn't see her at first. The library was surprisingly crowded. Finally he saw someone at the back of the library stand. Just Potter, and he looked like he was leaving. Then Potter stopped and it looked like he was reaching down to someone sitting at the table. It was Ginny. She was holding Potter's hand to her cheek, just as she'd held his hand to her cheek.
Malfoy didn't need to see anymore. The sneaky, lying bitch! She was good. She was very good. He had thought she was so innocent, and now it was obvious that she had just been using him to make Potter jealous!
Malfoy felt like he couldn't breath. He needed air, and to think. All the happiness and anticipation he'd felt grew hard and leaden. It felt like it would suffocate him. He first thought he would just stand her up. Let her stand around and wait tonight. Then if she asked tomorrow, he would just laugh in her face. He changed his mind, though. Why should she get away with this? He would meet her tonight if she actually had the nerve to show. He would take her to the tower and show her what happened to sneaking little sluts like her.
As he stalked back to his common room, he couldn't help one silent desperate cry, "WHY?"
There he is, Ginny thought, as she hurried up to Draco after her Astronomy class. Her smile was radiant, her face glowing as she tapped his shoulder, saying, "I'm ready!"
He swung around and Ginny stumbled back, the smile dying. He was glaring at her with almost palpable hatred. She took another step back.
"D-Draco, are you all right?" She knew it was a stupid question. Of course he wasn't all right. But what could have happened to him to cause this change?
He sneered at her. "So you decided to show up after all. I imagine this is supposed to be the tactful brush off? I don't think so. We're going to the tower like we planned. Right now."
He grabbed her wrist and started pulling her along the corridor, back toward the tower. Ginny felt frightened and confused, but was starting to get angry. She planted her feet and tried to yank her wrist from his grasp, but couldn't. He turned and glared again, pulling her sharply forward, nearly off her feet.
"Stop it, Draco. What is going on? And what did you
m-"
Malfoy cut her off.
"If I have to, I'll drag you. Your choice." His voice was as hard as the stony glare he turned on her.
Ginny shook her head. She didn't understand. "They must have been wrong," she said, more to herself. "You don't care for me. I was wrong, too." She didn't want to cry but didn't think she could stop. She hung her head, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of know he'd made her cry.
Malfoy looked at her and suddenly felt uncertain. Could he be mistaken? No, he had seen her and Potter together. A small voice shrilled that maybe he'd misunderstood. No, there was no way to misunderstand the tenderness he'd witnessed. He yanked her arm again. "I'll assume you want to be dragged." He didn't drag her though. He let go of her wrist and lifted her in his arms. "We'll get there faster this way," he growled to himself.
Ginny wanted to fight. She wanted to slap and hit and scratch, but he was holding her tightly against him. He was nearly shaking with anger, but he was still holding her. She couldn't help herself. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his neck.
He set her down abruptly. "We're here," he gritted out. He pulled out his wand and pointed at the door to the astronomy tower. "Alohamora." he said and the lock mechanism snapped open. He opened the door and dragged Ginny inside.
"Now what," Ginny asked in a small quavery voice.
"Upstairs," he growled. He watched as her shoulders slumped. Then she straightened, lifted her chin and marched past him. Her eyes were shining and he knew she was trying not to cry. He had wanted her to cry but now he just wished he hadn't started this.
Ginny walked slowly up the stairs she had descended so happily less that an hour ago. She didn't know what had happened, but whatever it was, it must have been bad. They came to the landing and Ginny paused. Malfoy stepped in front of her and whispered a few words. The landing and the observation area suddenly became noticably warmer. A soft bluish light surrounded them and as Ginny moved farther out onto the observation platform she saw that the constellations seemed to stand out better. A charting spell of some sort, to make identification easier. Beautiful and brilliant!
She turned to Draco to tell him and found him glaring at her still.
"Why, Ginny? I was going to drag you up here and," he stopped. What was he going to do? Rape her? He shuddered. "Never mind what I was going to do. I'll let you go after you answer me. Why?"
She stepped
toward him, but he stepped away. Ginny was badly scared, but he hadn't hurt her,
even though he was shaking with anger. He had grabbed her many times, but never
hard enough to hurt. Not even to bruise. All the bruises on her arms had come
from her own brother. And he'd been so very gentle when he carried her. And all
the while, he was in pain; something was tearing him up. Ginny had no idea what
it was but as enormous as she suspected it was, he still cared enough not to
hurt her.
"Why, what," she pleaded. She wanted to understand.
"Oh, come on, Ginny," he snarled. He moved closer until he was right in her face. "Did you have a good laugh at my expense? Was Potter in on it or were you just trying to make him jealous? Did you think I wouldn't find out? Does Potter even know you're here?"
Ginny thought she was beginning to understand. He was jealous and hurt. He thought she'd been using him. He thought she and Harry were dating, but where would he get an idea like that? Even though she was shaking on the inside, she stood her ground and waited while he raged at her. When he seemed to be done, she said quietly, "I still don't understand. What on Earth does Harry have to do with anything? Why would Harry care if I was with you?"
"Oh, please," he sneered at her. "I'm not blind, I saw you two in the library."
Bloody bingo, she thought. She smiled grimly and tried to think of what to say.
Malfoy's eyes widened. "Christ, Ginny! You're killing me. You're standing there tearing my fucking heart out and you're smiling! I can't believe it!"
He had been flailing his arms around as he shouted. She reached out and grabbed one of his hands, pulling it to her breast, just above her heart. He froze as she slipped his hand into the neck of the green blouse and held it there firmly.
"Then tear mine out, too, Draco. Because you're ripping it into pieces. I can't stand the way you're looking at me. As though you hate me. As though I were some vile, repulsive creature that shouldn't be allowed to live. If you hate me so much, just pick me up and toss me off the tower right now. You're stronger than I am. I won't even fight." She had said it so quietly, but the words ripped through him.
Gods, what was she saying? What was she doing to him? How could she think he hated her? How could she think he could ever hurt her? He was shaking harder now, but no longer from anger. He had made a mistake, he knew, a grave mistake.
Ginny had his complete and undivided attention now. She moved closer, holding his hand to her heart and putting her hand over his, feeling the rapid, irratic beat. He sucked in his breath and held very still.
"I was smiling because Harry said something similar to me today. He wanted to know about us, if it was serious. I asked him what he meant and he said he wasn't blind. I teased him about his glasses, but I think you might need them more than he does."
Malfoy felt sick. She and Potter had been talking about HIM. But what about that caress? He couldn't make himself ask, though. He didn't have to. She explained anyway.
"I don't suppose you'll believe me when I tell you Harry had just volunteered to run interference with Ron if you and I ever, well, became you and I?" She didn't wait for an answer. "Believe it or not, that's what happened. Harry caught me writing hearts all over my homework. He was teasing me because I hadn't gotten to the part where I put 'Draco' inside all the little hearts. But he guessed it would have been your name. As he left, I held his hand for a second. I was thanking him for being a friend."
Ginny finally let go of his hand. She needed to think. She stepped away from him and walked to the edge of the observation deck. She leaned her elbows on the low wall and gazed at the stars. She was frightened by this aspect of him. Be fair, her mind told her. He was yelling and screaming, but he never hurt you. In fact, he was extremely careful not to. But Draco had had a difficult childhood. Was he really the kind of person she wanted to get close to? Would she always have to deal with these rages. Was the romantic aspect worth it?
Malfoy's mind was a churning mess. She was telling the truth. He knew that. And he had just ruined everything. He hadn't trusted her, or maybe just hadn't believed in his own good fortune. Either way, he had probably just killed any feelings she had for him. He wanted to explain, but there was nothing to say.
Malfoy
turned to go when Ginny said something quietly.
He turned back, not quite
hearing what she'd said. She said it again, even more quietly. He still didn't
hear. He moved closer, until he was standing right behind her. She looked so
beautiful, standing there. He would give anything to see that beautiful smile
she'd greeted him with again. He couldn't help himself. He reached out and put
his hands on her shoulders, waiting for her to jerk away. She moved, but closer,
into his arms. He had to be dreaming. She murmured again, still too quietly for
him to understand. He bent his head and whispered, "I didn't
hear."
"Oceana," she murmured. "Virginia Oceana Weasley."
Gods, her middle name. He held her tightly, then turned her so she was facing him. She wouldn't look at him. He lifted her chin gently and waited until those great, brown eyes lifted to his. They were shining with unshed tears.
"Ginny, I'm -" She covered his mouth with her hand. "Don't," she said. "Just hold me?"
He crushed her against him, burying his face in her hair. He stroked her back and shoulders. Ginny sighed and finally pushed away slightly. She offered him a weak, shakey smile.
"I don't know what got into my mother's head to give me a name like that," she said. "And it IS much worse than Draco."
He smiled. He didn't have any right to be smiling, after what
he'd done, but he smiled anyway. She was still here in his arms. She might
actually forgive him.
He tried again.
"I'm sor-"
"I know," she said, moving away completely. She turned away and Malfoy felt his insides grow cold again. "I just want everything nice and clear. I want to know what you feel for me, what you want from me. I'm not good at rollercoasters, real or emotional. I refuse to deal with jealous rages." She turned back. "I want to know where I stand and I want you to know where you stand."
Leaning against the wall again, she said, "I hope you know that if I cared for anyone else, even a little, I would not be here right now." She turned back to him. "I like you, Draco. Very much. I wouldn't be here if I didn't. And since I want to be completely honest, I'd say I love you but it seems a bit early for that. But, I don't play games. I will never, EVER try to make you jealous by flirting with someone else, so I should never have to go through this," she gestured vaguely around the observation deck, "again." She glanced into his eyes, wondering if it was safe to tease him a little. Might as well, she thought a bit recklessly.
"Not even that adorable Ravenclaw Chaser who keeps asking me to go into Hogsmeade with him."
Malfoy couldn't believe his ears. She was teasing him. He had just threatened her and mauled her and hurt her feelings badly and she said she loved him. Well not quite, but close enough to be going on. She had also given him an ultimatum. He figured he could live with that, as he never wanted to deal with something like this again, either. And he believed her. If she said she loved him, she would mean it. He wondered if it had been anyone but Potter whether he'd have reacted the same way, and was slightly ashamed to admit that he probably would not have. He closed the distance between them and wrapped his hands around her slim waist. He pulled her closer, delighting at the way her eyes softened and her hands came up to hold his shoulders.
"I hope you told him you were already going with someone else?" he whispered as he traced her cheek with his lips.
Ginny sighed with relief. No jealous questions, just his own incredibly sexy brand of teasing. "How could I? You hadn't asked me yet." She pushed him away, but kept a hold on the front of his robes. "And you're purposely trying to distract me. You didn't answer me." She tried to sound stern, but it was difficult when his hands were sliding around her back and pulling her closer.
"All right, will you go with me to Hogsmeade?" He ran one hand up her spine, then began to tickle her neck. He was kissing her ear when she let a hand stray to the neck of his robe, then slip under slightly, tracing the collar bone. He jerked as though hit with an electrical shock.
Ginny felt heat wash over her. She felt him jerk at her touch and knew it was from desire. She replaced her hand with her mouth and felt him shiver. It made her feel incredibly sexy and powerful. She wondered distractedly if he was wearing a silk tee shirt right now. Maybe she would ask him later.
"Of course I'll go with you. But that's the wrong question." Her voice was no longer stern. In fact, it was quite husky now, and muffled.
Malfoy let his hands stray to the flared opening of her robes. The fastenings ended about mid thigh, but somehow seemed to have come undone to her waist. His hands slipped under the robe and brushed over the black wool skirt. He gripped her hips and pulled her to him again, groaning softly as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She continued to kiss and nibble at his throat and neck. He must have died and gone to heaven!
"Oh, that question," he said softly, burying one hand in her fiery red hair and pulling her face to his. "I love you, Ginny," he said just before his mouth closed over hers.
DESPERADO
Desperado, why don't you come to your
senses?
You've been out riding fences for so long now
Oh, you're a hard
one
BR>I know that you've got your reasons
These things that are pleasing you
can hurt you somehow
Don't you draw the Queen of Diamonds, boy
She'll
beat you if she's able
You know the Queen of Heart is always your best
bet
Now, it seems to me some fine things
Have been laid upon your
table
But you only want the ones that you can't get
Desperado, oh, you
ain't gettin' no younger
Your pain and your hunger, they're driving you
home
And freedom, oh, freedom
Well, that's just some people
talking
Your prison is walking through this world all alone
Don't your
feet get cold in the wintertime?
The sky won't snow and the sun won't
shine
It's hard to tell the nighttime from the day
You're losing all your
highs and lows
Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away?
Desperado,
why don't you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, oh, open the
gate
It may be raining
But there's a rainbow above you
You better let
somebody love you
(You better let somebody love you)
You better let
somebody love you
Before it's too late
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Draco and Ginny belong to JK Rowling, Bloomsbury, Scholastic, Warner Bros and various other corporations. They are being used here without permission and/or affiliation with the above. None of the authors listed here make any profit from these stories.