The Lover After Me
Disclaimer: Once again, the amazing JKR owns all Harry Potter characters and associations. After all, if I owned them, the books would have been "Draco Malfoy and the Sorcerer’s Stone." And the wonderful Darren and Daniel of Savage Garden own the song. They are amazing too.
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Here I go again I promised myself I wouldn’t think of you today
If only I could get through one day without thinking about you. I go to bed at night vowing that seeing your face the moment before sleep overtakes me will be the last thought of you.
I don’t need this. I don’t need to dwell on the past, thinking of you and seeing your face and hearing your voice every moment of every day. I promise this day will be different. But even I know it won’t.
It’s been seven months and counting
Has it really been that long? Is it already May? We only have weeks left. And then it’s all over. Another year came and went, only this time, I didn’t have you there beside me the whole time. I haven’t had you with me for seven months, six days, fourteen hours, thirty-two minutes, and five seconds...but then, who’s counting?
You’ve moved on
I still feel exactly the same
You moved on the day after you ended it. I haven’t. I still love you as much as I ever did. Even after all the hurt you’ve caused me, I still love you.
It’s just that everywhere I go all the buildings know your name
Like photographs and memories of love
Steel and granite reminders
The city calls your name and I can’t move on
Everywhere I go, I see you. Or I hear you. Or I smell you.
I hear the whispers in the hall. The latest gossip. You and you’re little, loyal, freckle-faced Gryffindor. It hurts when I hear people talking about you. They don’t seem to care that I’m there. They don’t seem to notice the girl you left behind.
Ever since you’ve been gone
The lights go out the same
Time hasn’t stopped. I still wake up, go to meals (three a day, I swear), attend classes, do homework, wander around Hogsmeade, go to bed. I shut out the light and stare at the ceiling, thinking of you and waiting for you to sneak in to steal a few moments alone with me. I even think I feel your breath on my neck as you call out my name...
The only difference is
You call another name
Her. Always her.
To your love
To your lover now
To your love
The lover after me
Is she just like me? No, she wouldn’t be. She’s too sweet, too innocent, and too pure. I bet you don’t have half as much fun as you did with me.
Am I all alone in the universe?
Sometimes I feel like I am. There’s no one here for me. Sure, there are my room mates and my House mates, but no one comes close to you. I’d never talked to anyone the way I talk to you. So now I have no one.
There’s not love on these streets
I have given mine away to a world that didn’t want it anyway
The least you could have done was warned me. Maybe then I’d have a little feeling, a little emotion left to pass on to the next boy who breaks my heart.
So this is my new freedom
I should look on the bright side – I’m free! I have nothing holding me back, no one protecting me, hovering over me. I could find a new boy. Hell, I think right now, I’d even settle for Potter or the Weasel. Maybe then you’d notice me again...?
It’s funny
I don’t remember being chained
I’m more trapped than I ever have been before.
But nothing seems to make sense anymore
Did I just say I’d settle for the Dynamic Duo? Oh please say those words did not exit my mouth.
You have confused me and hurt me so much nothing makes sense. I can’t think straight.
Without you I’m always twenty minutes late
You used to wait for me, to make sure I’d be everywhere on time. Class, breakfast, Hogsmeade, whatever it was, you were there. Now I can’t even seem to get out of bed in the mornings. I have no reason to. You’re already gone, off with her no doubt. And I can’t feel my legs to walk.
Ever since you’ve been gone
The lights go out the same
The only difference is
You call another name
To your love
To your lover now
To your love
The lover after me
She’s not as good as I was. You’ll never find anyone better.
I shudder to think of her with you. It makes me sick.
And time goes by so slowly
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
Slow motion. Everything passes by at an incredibly abnormal speed. Slow. Silent. Lonely.
The nights are cold and lonely
I wrap the cold sheets tighter around myself in an effort to warm myself. I used to have you with me, holding me, keeping me warm. You used to wrap your arms around me and kiss my shoulder. I shivered, but it wasn’t from the cold. Now I’m alone.
I shouldn’t be holding on
But I’m still holding on for you
I flip to my side to stare at the picture. You smile back, winking and giving me that superior look you use whenever around the Gryffindors. Then you laugh and it cycles through again. I reach out to trace the lines of you face, but I draw back. It hurts too much.
Here I go again
I promised myself I wouldn’t think of you today
Maybe I can make it through one twenty-four hour cycle without thinking of the past. Without thinking of you. But I know it’ll be impossible.
You start toward the door. It’s late. You’re going to meet her, I know. You don’t see me in the shadows, warming my lonely self in front of the fire. My feet hit the ground without my willing them to do so. I spin around, looking for you.
But I’m standing at your doorway
I’m calling out your name because I can’t move one
The words escape from my mouth before I can recall them.
You turn around to look at me. Your eyes meet mine. I try to smile, but I can feel the tears start to fall. You take a step closer to me, I can almost feel your arms around me.
"Please." I whisper, not sure if you even hear me. You look at me again, reaching for my hand. You take it, squeeze it, and start to close the space between us.
I can feel your breath on my lips. I close my eyes, intoxicated. "I’m sorry." You murmur. Then, you’re gone. And I’m alone.
I’m sure you went off to meet your lover after me.
The End.
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Draco and Ginny belong to JK Rowling, Bloomsbury, Scholastic, Warner Bros and various other corporations. They are being used here without permission and/or affiliation with the above. None of the authors listed here make any profit from these stories.