Nobody Knows
Disclaimer: Once again, J. K. Rowling owns all that is Harry Potter. And, hate to disappoint all you Alanis fans, but this one’s Kevin Sharp. Um, he and some pop singer both sung this song so, yeah. Nothing belongs to me.
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I pretend that I’m glad you went away
But these four walls close in more every day
I try to be happy for you. I try to ignore the fact that you left me with practically no warning. But it’s so hard, it’s nearly impossible. Everything around me shifts and distorts itself. I’m getting dizzy; I feel sick.
And I’m dying inside and nobody knows it but me
I can’t breathe. My lungs have stopped functioning all together. My heart won’t beat, and each piece of me contorts and flips, making me ill and tired and, I feel like I’m dying. If this is what life without you is like, maybe I’d be better off dead.
Like a clown I put on a show
You don’t see that I hurt. I sit by you and smile. I laugh. I tease. I flirt. I hide my own emotions and mask my true feelings. Every morning when I wake up, I put on a new face. I should win an Oslet, or whatever that Muggle award is, for this.
The pain is real even if nobody knows
It’s there. I feel it.
And I’m crying inside and nobody knows it but me
I cry myself to sleep every night. When I wake up, the Thamesis flowing over my sheets. One of these days, I’m going to drown in an ocean of my own tears.
Why didn’t I say the things I needed to say?
I could have apologized for whatever it was I did. I still don’t know. I could have told you I love you. I could have said I wanted you to say. I could have demanded to know why. I could have said anything more than what I did say, which was nothing.
How could I let my angel get away?
Now my world is just a-tumblin’ down
I can say it so clearly but you’re nowhere around
You left me here with all these words on the tip of my tongue. I can stand here, alone, and say them all. I can recite them over and over again. I can revise and edit this one-sided conversation that you’ll never hear.
The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
I lay awake at night thinking about you. I go through the motions everyday, trying hard to keep up that show. But I can’t stand this pain that’s searing through every pore of my body.
And I just keep thinkin’ about the love that we had
We had everything. I thought we’d be in this until the end, but I guess my views were distorted. I guess I was living in a delusion that you really loved me as much as I thought you did. I thought you loved me as much as I love you.
And I’m missing you and nobody knows it but me
How blue can I get, you could ask my heart
Just like a jigsaw puzzle it’s been torn all apart
Pieces of me have been left all over. I’m in your room. I’m in your classes. I’m in your heart.
A million words couldn’t say just how I feel
I cannot express this to you. I wouldn’t be able to even if you were in front of me. I love you. More than words can say.
A million years from now, you know, I’ll be loving you still
No matter what happens in the next few years, you will always be the boy that I loved—still love. It doesn’t matter to me who rises into power or what git knocks them down again, you will always be on my mind. You’re in my thoughts, and in my heart, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. And you will be for the rest of my life.
The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin’ about the love that we had
And I’m missing you and nobody knows it but me
I don’t even think you realize how much I wish you were here with me. I miss your arms around me. I miss your smile. I miss your laugh. I miss your kisses and your touch. I miss loving you.
The End.
***
Quick Author’s Note: I just want to thank everyone for reviewing, please keep it up. As for all your guesses, well, they’re all as good as mine! No, kidding. But seriously, I don’t know if I’ll ever tell who they are, but you guys all have the right idea. I’d like for everyone to make of it as they will. Please read my other stories and review them, okay? Thanks!
Special thanks to the following people: Katie Bell, Draco-Look-Alike, Mistress Cresacre, CF, Lady Aqua, Wytlk, lupe silverwing, and Xaviera Xylire. Thanks for reviewing!
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Draco and Ginny belong to JK Rowling, Bloomsbury, Scholastic, Warner Bros and various other corporations. They are being used here without permission and/or affiliation with the above. None of the authors listed here make any profit from these stories.