Title: Show Me a Memory
Author: Wyld Rose
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: The song belongs to Miranda Sex Garden and is titled "Peep Show". The characters and place names in this songfic belong to JK Rowling.
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Just when I began to think that my life was void of warmth, I found myself staring down into her eyes. They held within their coffee-hued depths every ounce of warmth I could imagine to feel. Her presence melted the ice that she undoubtedly saw in my eyes, and for a few intense moments my world stood still.
Then she continued down the hall, and I was left to linger in the memory of the one time in my scant seventeen-year existence that I felt content. Almost as quickly as it had gone, my stoic façade returned and I encased myself in the cool detachment I had grown accustomed to. In that instant, as I watched her walk away, I noticed the all too familiar Weasley-red tint to her long hair as it waved behind her with every swift step.
Scoffing at myself, I continued on my journey to Potions, Grade Seven, where I would be submerged in ingredients and directions for some rather difficult mixtures. There is where I was certain the Weasley girl would be forgotten. We were instructed to use Phoenix down for one portion of the health potion we were concocting. The soft fluff was indistinguishably the same shade of red as the Weasley girl’s hair. Damn myself for pausing to look into her eyes... it would be impossible to forget her.
Needless to say, my mark was not extremely high for that assignment. I could barely concentrate, and for the first time ever... a potion exploded in my face. At least it didn’t mess up my hair too much...
The weeks passed and I managed to avoid coming into close contact with the Weasley girl (whose first name I discovered was Ginny), content to watch her from a distance. To the outside world I was as scathing and supercilious as ever. I was very pleased at the resiliency of my disdainful demeanor after that day. No one had any idea that everywhere I looked, I saw her face.
Show me a memory
I thought of her while I studied, while I slept, during classes, Quidditch... She was like a drug in which to loose myself, to escape reality in every form. I dreamed about her, I fantasized about her, and I imagined her eyes staring back at me...feeding me warmth and contentment. I knew my thoughts of her would never become reality, and knowing that made me even more obsessed. No time or place had we ever shared a destiny... for countless reasons. The reasons alone are another story all together...one I refuse to get into now.
One day while rounding a corner as I took my typical evening stroll around the battlements of Hogwarts, I saw her leaning over the edge, alone. Her hair was caught in a light breeze, and she had her arms folded over the stone railing. She stood, unmoving, evidently lost in thought. I had several options here of what I could do: Continue walking and ignore her presence. Turn around and walk the other way. Say something that would surely invoke the infamous Weasley wrath, if she had it that is. Say something that a polite person would say, such as ‘Hey, how are you?’
Looking back on this memory...I feel that I made the right choice.
Please don’t ask for more from me
"Well if it isn’t little weasel out here sulking over how Potty asked someone else to the Yule Ball...again," I drawled, folding my arms and fixing a rather uninterested glance in her direction. She stood still for a few moments, and I heard her sigh.
"Sod off, Malfoy," she responded, not once turning to look my way. Apparently, I struck a nerve.
Ignoring her request, I took a step closer, leaning against a pillar that rose from the stone wall of the battlement. She glanced over to me, and I could tell she had been crying. Her eyes had a sad sort of droop to them, and were red and puffed. She bit her bottom lip, possibly an apprehensive habit of hers, and held me in an unreadable gaze. I took this opportunity to search for the warmth I found that day in her eyes, and I was disappointed to find that there was nothing but a dying ember.
But I can live in your minds eye
Live in your heart
I’ll love you in your dreams
But please don’t try to hold me in your arms...
"Well, am I right?" I just couldn’t allow my typical contemptuous personality to crumble. A slight smirk followed my words as I desperately searched her eyes for warmth, hoping that maybe the embers would stir from her anger and the fire would return. The instinct to slip my arms around and comfort her from whatever was troubling her was overwhelming, however I did a pretty good job of suppressing my emotions.
"Not even close," Ginny answered. I heard how her quiet voice wavered, as if the mere act of speaking stirred up whatever thoughts that were causing her pain. She tore her eyes away from me, and I watched her for a moment as she looked up to the rising moon. Without a word, I backed from the pillar and returned to the shadows of the battlements. I felt it would be best to leave her to her woes, it was obvious they were only intensified by my presence.
Just as I was about to take a step, she turned to face me, her eyes brimming with tears. I remained resolute as I paused in mid step, turning my face towards her after hearing her movements.
Show me a fantasy
"Wait," she said, in a surprisingly calm voice. I didn’t respond, simply looking at her, my expression impassive. She continued, "I know I mean nothing to you, in fact you probably scarcely knew I existed before this moment, but I just need to get something off of my chest before you walk away."
Interesting, I thought. All it took was one moment to look into her eyes all those weeks ago and from that moment she existed to me on every possible level. Except reality.
"What?" I responded.
"One day when I was walking down the hall...you probably weren’t even looking at me...but it seemed to me as if we locked eyes. Ever since I haven’t been able to get my mind off of you. Go ahead... laugh at me if you want. I’m just sick and tired of holding the way I feel inside." She was twisting the long sleeve of her robes as she spoke, looking anywhere but at me. I stood there in silence for a long time, not expecting her to reveal such feelings in the slightest. Of course I wouldn’t laugh at something like this... obviously she had no idea that I felt the same way.
Please don’t ask for more from me
It took about three steps for me to cover the distance between us, and she seemed a little startled by my sudden advance on her. She stiffened, but didn’t back away, and stared up at me fearfully. Probably afraid I would pull out my wand and curse her for saying such things to me. Both of us were surprised by what happened next...
Without warning, as if it was an instinctive impulse, I tilted her chin up with my hand and pressed a soft kiss against her lips. I really didn’t mean for it to be anything more than that, but it did anything but stop there. She responded by wrapping her arms around me in a crushing embrace and I felt her tongue graze my upper lip, begging to deepen the kiss. I complied without inhibition and poured every thought, every fantasy, and every ounce of my desire into our kiss. Entwining my fingers in her hair, I delighted in how soft it was. Her scent was intoxicating, and it took every ounce of will power not to pick her up and take her to my bed. She dug her nails into my back, I could feel them drag up and down even through my robes. I parted from the kiss only to trail more kisses down to her neck, where I dared to take a bit of skin in my teeth gently. She moaned softly, the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard, and have ever heard since. I felt moisture on my cheek and lifted my head, noticing tears slipping down her face. I kissed one tear, and looked down into her eyes.
But I can live in your mind’s eye
The warmth had returned in her eyes, although laden with tears. She then slipped out of my grasp and backed away from me, staring at me somberly.
"This can’t happen," was all she said and she turned, hurrying away from me with as much speed as she could muster. I knew exactly what she meant. She was right...So, this is what happens when the circumstances of destiny and of desire are not one in the same.
However, as it turns out, there is a time and place for Ginny Weasley and me.
In memory and in fantasy.
But please don’t try to hold me in your arms...
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Draco and Ginny belong to JK Rowling, Bloomsbury, Scholastic, Warner Bros and various other corporations. They are being used here without permission and/or affiliation with the above. None of the authors listed here make any profit from these stories.